Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Nigel's day


Sean, Cory and I are sitting beside Nigel in our small group "Blogging" session. We've decided to call this Nigel Day because it is fun to watch him squirm as he is forced, once again, to blog for the sake of community. I will now give you a running commentary of his pain.
(Sorry to those who do not know Nigel. To picture the man, just think of Daniel Boone with a Bible)

Nigel- "You know what my problem is Scott... With all the homework, going to class, and hanging out with friends...There is a stew of work here, and people don't make time to dream."
Cory says.."Write that."
Nigel (Incredulously) "I'm not gonna write that!!!"

(Long pause)
(Nigel staring into the keyboard)
(Cory, Scott and Sean furiously typing)

Cory- I'm surprised Greg Moore isn't here
Sean- He was up since 5:00 (Watching the Olympic hockey game)
Cory- I don't think he went to bed all night.

(Both still typing fast)

Nigel (2 minutes later) - The problem is I just can't get started.

Long Silence

Scott- have you got something yet Nigel?

Nigel- I'm working on it, I feel stupid though...This is definitely a girly style of writing.
Scott- What's so girlish about it?
Nigel - Well I've started off talking about feelings, which is totally wrong. I should be wearing my pink shirt.

Cory (To Scott)- Are you writing down what he says?
Nigel- What?!? You're not gonna publish that are you?

Nigel- *&#@*!

(Later)
Nigel- The problem is I've wasted so much time staring at this monitor that I only have half an hour left.

(still later)
Nigel- The grimmist thing about this is that I feel like a psychologist. I'm analyzing myself.

(silence)
Nigel- Hey Scott, read me what you've written down
(Scott reads what has been typed up until this point.)
Nigel- Well, If I haven't lost face on my own blog, I certainly have with yours.
(long silence)

Waiting for him to say something, I notice that he only uses two fingers to type.

Nigel-I think I got something good here Scott, I just need time to polish it up. I got a good introduction. What to hear it?"
Scott- No, I want to read it.
Nigel (Sadly)- Awww, I was so excited to share it.
(Leans back, then dives into typing again)

Nigel- Scott, you know when people come and say they came to school to find God, How do they say it?
Scott- Um, Like how they say the phrase.
Nigel-Like to...Um...Discover God...Maybe...(mumbling to self)..Yah, that works.

I notice that he has started up Microsoft word and is using the thesaurus for something.

Now he looks nervously over at me to see my curiosity.

Nigel- I replaced zealously with eagerly because I already used zeal in the first part of the sentence. I got a paragraph and a half now.

(later)
Nigel- It's supposed to be like minus 20 or some dumb thing all week. Were getting Alberta weather. So how do I save this without publishing it?
Cory- save it as a draft

Nigel- This is darn feminine...I'm not gona lie...I should discuss the new 360 steel chainsaw in the middle to redeem the conversation.

Nigel- How would you write "compelling to perform?" What word would imagerize that?
(looking at me while I type)
Scott- (distracted) I just want to make sure I get this..."imagerize" bit down
Nigel- (straight faced) You're such a jerk Scott.

Scott- "Obsession?"
Nigel- Ya, that's a good one.

Keri Dakken Enters with her wonderful smile
Keri- Hi Nigel, How are you doing?
Nigel-I'm good, but Scott over here is torturing me. He is forcing me to blog and then he's writing about it at the same time. But this blog is really feminine.
Keri- Nigel, did you get any responses to your"Wife wanted ad?"
Nigel- I have never gotten a response in the years that I have done it. Actually I had one response from a girl, but she said "Nigel, you make me want to vomit."

Nigel- (Saving it and getting up to leave) Well, that one will get some interesting comments. (Noticing Karla Cardash snuck in and is sitting at her usual spot in the library)Have you been in here the whole time?
Karla- Ya
Nigel- Well then you have heard my pain. You are very sneaky!
Karla- that's what they teach you in Grenfell.
(Nigel Exits stage left)

So now you have been privy to the torture. Watch for his post to be finished and published soon.

5 comments:

Greg Roberts said...

Scott, sorry I couldn't make it out, but this is by far and away the funniest entery I've read on the web thus far. So good.

doxasky said...

HAHAHA! That's great! Hm...imagining a grown man writhing in pain about blogging...strange how that is so funny! (Sorry Nige)

K said...

You are hilarious. I want to read Nigel's blog so bad, but alas, no luck yet. Poor kid, it must be torturous for him!

Anonymous said...

I stumbled across your page a month or two ago. It has been great reading your random thoughts, brings back fond memories. Puts a smile on my face.

Rhonice

Matt said...

Good job Scott, mabye you shoul make only 1!!!! link to me